Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
