im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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