Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
