omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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