Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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