I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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