You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
