she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
