theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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