Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
