i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
