I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
