i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
