My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
