the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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