If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
