Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
