No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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