my phone needs a breathalizer
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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