Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
