I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
