Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
