your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
