Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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