i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
