Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
