She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
