Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
