I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Panties = found
Randomize
