Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
