you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
