He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
