bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
