6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Im part way to drunk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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