I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
