Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
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