I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's official drugs can't kill me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
