To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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