8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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