Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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