This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
