I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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