I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
