READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
