Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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