definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
