everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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