Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
