You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
