he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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