that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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